I Deserve Better Than This...

It is hard to say out loud that I deserve something better than what I currently have. I am healthy, educated, smart and I can think for myself. Yet, when I look for work, I constantly start with the low-level casual labour pool. I have a university degree, I have a cooking column in my local paper. People ask me for advice, they listen to what I say. I got my current job by cold-calling the resort, I was hired immediately. I learned my job and a related one and my work is good and respected. So why do I feel that cleaning offices and fast food jobs are my only option?
When I come home I feel like I am a fraud. That I am only pretending to be this good competent person. That once anyone gets to know me that they will realize that I am worthless. Intellectually, I know that I am not. I know what I am capable of and that I can take care of myself and others. Perhaps it is my present environment. Right now I am in transition. I know that I want to do but I am having trouble moving forward in a constructive way. The depression does not help. Somedays, I feel paralyzed and unable to function but I have no choice, I must get up and carry on. When my daughter was young, I used to say that I don't have time for a nervous breakdown. I still don't. If I did have one now, I would end up living in my car, not a happy prospect. So I must soldier on, continue this life and living. Know that better times and better things are waiting for me out there in the big wide world. I can do it. I know that I can.